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 There are no bitches, only sophisticated bad girls. That’s what we learned at the Irish Examiner’s ‘Choose To Challenge’ live event for International Women’s Day.

Special guest, Vicky Phelan, encouraged women to embrace being seen as a bitch and lean into being strong women, a quality she said she shares with an iconic Irish woman.

“I met Mary Robinson a couple of years ago at an event and I was totally shell-shocked, I didn’t know what to say and of course I said the wrong thing,” Phelan said.

“She was saying how she was absolutely honoured to meet me and she said ‘I admire your strength, you know exactly what you want’ and I just said ‘sure Mary, you know I’m just a stubborn bitch’. The words were out of my mouth and I thought I can’t believe I said that to Mary Robinson. She started laughing and she said to me ‘Vicky, you’re exactly like me but I prefer the term “sophisticated bad girl”.’ I just loved that.”

The campaigner spoke about the challenges she has faced, often in the public eye. She looked back on difficult pregnancies, her struggle with postnatal depression, her terminal cervical cancer diagnosis and her historic court case, which, she said, included a moment she is quite proud of when she refused to sign a non-disclosure agreement about the misdiagnosis of her cervical cancer.

“I knew there were other women in the same position as me and I could not accept that this was being asked of me. I chose to challenge that and refused to sign that agreement,” she said.

She added she knows women who would fight for their children but wondered why they are reluctant to fight for their own health and interests.

“I often think if women channelled that fierce maternal drive that we have to protect our children into advocating for themselves, my god we’d be powerful. If your child is sick and you think your child is not getting the care that they need, none of us would think twice about challenging that care, would we? Why do we not do it for ourselves?” 

Derval O'Rourke: 'When you’re the one who is flexible with the kids you get landed with most of the caring when you’re in the middle of a pandemic'

It was a sentiment echoed by columnist Derval O’Rourke, one of the panellists who spoke to host Esther N. McCarthy. O’Rourke said the pandemic has seen many women struggle to juggle work and family life.

“Minding yourself is one of the hardest things we’ll do as women,” O’Rourke said.

Or buy here : Never underestimate the power of a stubborn Irish woman poster

Never underestimate the power of a stubborn Irish woman poster

“You’ll say yes to your boss, you’ll say yes to the kids, you’ll say yes to what your other half wants you to do but to say yes to yourself and carve out that time for yourself, for some reason, we all find it quite hard. It’s empowering yourself to mind yourself. You’re better for everyone else if you’re minding yourself.” 

O’Rourke said she felt the strain of lockdown life and was “burning the candle at both ends with family and with work.” 

 

 

 

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